It is Monday and my brain just feels fried. Overwhelmed. Confused. Today I went to get the health certificate for my residency application, or Carte Sejour. I wanted to do some language studying but, like I said, my brain won’t let me. I can’t focus on it, or anything, right now. Time is running short before April 24. Then, my visa extension runs out. Its been 10 days since the paperwork was sent to Florida Department of Law Enforcement for a certified background check. I’m trying to stay positive and not let anxiety control me.

Besides all this, my Moroccan Man and I have been having conversations about living back in the US together and ultimately getting married… one day. All of it is hypothetical, at this point… just conversation. Although, its something he really wants, it’s something I’m not that interested in at this point. I am here because my body and mind need a break. Plus, I’m trying to recoup the monies I lost last year, with the surgeries and all. I don’t know if its so much he wants to live in the US but, having an American passport it very appealing to him and would make our lives easier. He wouldn’t need a visa to travel to most of the world. This would make traveling together simpler.  Getting residency and/or citizenship in the US is a daunting and long process.Immigration entry stamp on the inside page of a passport.He knows that living in the US is no fairy tale. I’ve made it abundantly clear to him that, relatively speaking, life is easier here for us financially. Opportunity and the American Dream weigh heavily in his mind. No matter how I try to burst his bubble, he still wants the chance to try. At the end of the day, who am I to deny him a chance. Yet, nothing is as simple as it would seem. Residency and ultimately citizenship are not that easy to come by. His application is tied to my income and I don’t have the income right now to support it. Plus, coming and going on a residency card isn’t like it is here. I can be pulled if you leave the country for even one day. Meaning, no traveling with out risk. For now, his dreams will have to wait. Unless something gives financially. I understand that none of us are getting any younger and time is always of the essence but, patience is always a virtue and good things come to those who wait, right? So, you see, beyond my Moroccan residency issues there is also the underlying current of American residency flowing through my brain.  I really can’t take all the pressure of it all and the mental gyrations my mind goes through all day, everyday. With these issues and trying to write a book, this blog and trying to learn a new language… my brain is on overload. My sleep is broken , because of all this, worsening the situation.

I guess all of it is why I am feeling so driven to make this Amazon Kindle ebook thing happen for myself… and whatever else I can. My best friends cousin made the  ebook happen for herself and is now receiving handsome monthly checks. So, I know I can do it, too. I want to have a stream of income that can happen no matter where I live because I want more than anything to be able to travel this big wide world. Without the finances, it just wont happen as readily or easily as I would like. Honestly, I’m not interested nor am I ready to move back to the US, anytime soon, no matter what my mans desires are. At this point, our focus may be shifting to moving to a country where we can live well and both be happy, that isn’t either of our home countries. So, making an online income gets more important to me by the day.

FullSizeRenderIts now after 5pm. Happy Hour. So, Ive decided to give my mind a break, have a glass of wine, prep dinner and maybe watch a mindless TV show online. Tonight’s dinner will be my recipe upload this week. I will pick up this post later in the week…

Well, I’m back to report that my background check came and it is on its way to Morocco via DHL. It seems that you can have things shipped to the local DHL store for in person pick-up. This is probably because many people live in villages. No street names, house numbers or proper addresses, like I do. I think they called it spot pick-up. All well and good, along with a huge fee of $134.00. Damn. Double what I had anticipated. It is what it is, though. I need it for my residency plain and simple. There was no way around it. Once it comes I will have it translated and finish my to-do list. I need to claim the cash I need to put into a Moroccan bank account at customs. The customs form asks if you have more than 10k usd, if so you claim it upon arrival into the country. I guess because its going into the financial system it needs to be claimed, even thought its a lesser amount. The other thing I have to do is get another lease from my landlord, get more passport photos, print off a couple things and I’m good to go! Ready to hand in the application.

Tomorrow will be 5 months since my arrival in Morocco and I’m finally, nearly ready to hand in my Carte Sejour application. I planned on doing this after the first month of being here but, they make you apply for a 3 month visa extension, first. Now, I have one month left on that extension, till it runs out. Oh my god, a wave of anxiety just washed through me as I typed that. Ok, pull yourself together… you will be fine, everything will work. Shit, that bottle of wine is calling to me again… xo